A bigger perspective and overall assessment.
Becoming a parent is a major landmark and a life-changing event. If one is married or in a committed relationship, it’s completely natural to think, “Will my girlfriend be a good mother?”
This thought just doesn’t revolve around being a good parent—it redirects to the rays of hope and vision and involves concern for both of you to build a life together.
Let’s have a look into some cogitative ways to observe on this important question, without hoping on to any opinion or carrying unrealistic expectations.
1. Is empathy and patience shown?
Patience — A great characteristic of a wonderful mother. A brilliant mother need not be perfect or be a ‘know-it-all’; instead, she is inclined to listen, slow down, and understand others’ feelings.
Few questions to ask yourself —
• Does your girlfriend stay calm in negative situations?
• Does she try to understand and not just react?
• Is she an empathetic person?
These emotional qualities are the important ones while getting into motherhood.
2. What is her perception of responsibility?
Consistency is a must in parenthood; caring, feeding, protecting and providing — just a few qualities which are necessary. In a nutshell, parenthood is nothing less than showing up — even when you are not at your best.
A few thoughts on the lines of the above point —
• What is her way of contributing to commitments? Is there any?
• Can she be relied upon in everyday situations?
• Is she adaptable to unexpected changes in plans?
Taking responsibilities in a relationship (after mutual discussion and as per one’s ability) is a good indicator of a potential parenting approach.
3. Her equation with children — a major marker.
In case either of you has nieces or nephews in the family, it gives you a good chance to observe her demeanour around the children very closely.
A few important observations to make are —
• Is teaching or helping make her feel thriven?
• Is she kind and capable of being firm as needed?
• Is it natural for her to engage with children, or does she enjoy it?
Not everything can be based on this; however, the way she interacts and feels around the children can speak volumes about her parenting instincts.
4. Does she bring up the future in conversations?
A wonderful mom doesn’t necessarily keep on bringing up baby names every now and then in a conversation; nevertheless, it sheds light when she opens up about her future and family.
Paying attention to the below may reveal a great deal about her potential choices or expectations —
• How does she feel about parenting or family life?
• Is she positive about having her own kids? If so, does she understand the emotional and practical changes and necessities associated with the same?
• Does she bring emotional and practical maturity to the table while discussing long-term goals?
Parenthood indeed is not an easy journey; you feel more empowered and confident when you understand that your vision and values align with your partner.
5. What is her approach to growth?
Parenthood comes with its own challenges and perks. No one can achieve rapid perfection in being a parent. The most important aspect is being open and accepting. Parenthood is a lifelong journey marked by learning, adapting, admitting mistakes, and being emotionally aware.
Your partner carries a strong foundation for being a parent if she exhibits resilience and overall maturity, along with an open mindset.
6. What does being supported look
Without a second thought, we can say that parenting is teamwork. Often, a good mother reflects the support she receives from her partner. Before accessing your partner, you should ask yourself —
• Do you provide emotional availability to each other?
• Is your communication based on honesty?
• Do you grow together, rather than growing side by side?
Always remember — the base for strong co-parenting lies in a strong partnership. Be clear and honest while putting out your expectations. Actively listen to your partner with an open mind while she puts her thoughts out.
Having questions regarding your partner being a good mother to your kids is the most genuine question. But one should not be burdened with unrealistic expectations and comparisons. No one is born ready for this transformation. Softness, strength, and courage are revealed over time.
The key strength in this transformation is your connection with your partner! How do you face challenges as a team? How do you stand up for the protection of your family and make them feel cared for and heard? If your relationship is based on deep-rooted love, respect, and growth, you are most likely on the right path!
In case you are looking to strengthen your relationship before taking things to the next level, then you may explore help along the lines of effective communication, therapy, or parenting workshops.
